Monday, March 10, 2008

Just Cold

My dad sent me this forward which I thought was classic. My family from Wisconsin but I now live in California, have lived in D.C., and have close relatives in Florida. I've experienced our nation's capital shutting down for a couple inches of snow, and the roads practically closing down in San Francisco freeway for a sprinkle of rain. Meanwhile, my dad will drive up north in his 2 wheel drive Buick twice a month in 20 below weather through white wash snow storms where you can't see the car that is 50 ft. ahead of you. And they are right about the school never closing. Us Madison kids were always jealous of the kids in tiny school districts in northern Wisconsin who would get a snow day for 4 ft. of snow (vs. our 2 ft.) because they didn't have enough plows to get out to the rural areas.


60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Lake Michigan gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 (-459.67 F below zero):
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero, on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Wisconsin start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late.


Anonymous said...

Insert Minnesota instead of WI and it will read the same. It was 50 degrees here yesterday & I saw multiple people running in shorts & T-shirts. I wasn't quite that brave but I did drive around with my windows down. :)San Fran is going to feel balmy to me when I'm out there in a few weeks.

Angie Schiavoni said...

Maybe you should move out to SF? All the cool Madison East kids are doing it...